It’s been a long time since I’ve had an all-out anxiety attack, but I’m having one tonight. This day…I just need to lie down and cry.
Richard wants to help and said, “Talk to me, I want to help.” But I can’t even talk about it, I’m so stressed. I just want to fucking cry.
I really want to post some stuff, watch an old game or something, but I honestly can’t right now.
Even though I adore my nephews, the thought of driving 45 minutes to go watch a kids’ Christmas program at school makes me want to punch a wall…this is a terrible day for this to be happening. I just want to go home and cry, and I can’t. I have to leave right after getting home…I’ll take Richard something to eat and then race out there. Aaargh. I’m very lucky, I know, so I don’t want to bitch…but my god, today is just FUCK.
My stress level at this moment is about more than I can stand. I don’t want my current job. I don’t want the new job. I don’t want to work in this fucking place anymore.
Why can’t I fucking retire at 42…
I feel like throwing the fuck up.